“This life is a thump ripe melon, so sweet and such a mess.” -Greg Brown
Self-Improvement: How can we do it?
September is Self-Improvement month. How can we best improve ourselves? First, we must move into it with self-love, self-compassion and kindness, and the clear knowledge that it is a journey of growth. Be patient with yourself.
It seems so difficult to make changes in our lives and achieve the goals we want. To live the life we want. To have the relationships, jobs, free time, and head space we want. How can we have feelings of excitement, anticipation, joy, peace, gratitude, energy, love? Being human is complex. It is sweet and messy, as Greg Brown so perfectly states.
We each are unique, meaningful, and irreplaceable, as are our personal experiences. There can be a lot of pain, struggle, anxiety, and fear. Each of our experiences matter and are here to help us grow. How, in the midst of it all, can you create yourself and your best life? Just take the first step with your pocketful of tools and resources. I hope this article is your first step of practical ideas, and motivation.
There are many right answers to this question because there are so many ways, we can achieve the self-improvement we want. It takes courage and bravery, risk, and trust. And yes, sometimes at a financial cost. That in itself can be a deterrent. We must clear out the mental fog and clutter, fear, and discomfort, and make a plan for the first step. The rest will follow. But I want to be realistic. If we decide to Eat Better, Sleep Better, Have More Fun, Exercise, Reduce Stress, Do What You Love, start a New Hobby…all those things need planning, money, time, energy, and a lot of support. So you are doing a real thing, and its work, and it takes a little time.
The surest way to achieve your goal of Self Improvement is to take one step at a time. One step at a time you can rewire your brain and change old habits. Replace outdated thoughts and bring on new momentum in a positive direction. This new input creates new neural pathways in the conscious and subconscious mind, transforming you in many ways. It is like updating your software so the computer can run optimally. Reprogramming the neural pathways gets the new responses and behaviors we want. You can do this!
There are many authors, scientists, researchers, and intuitives sharing what they know about the power of the mind. I enjoy reading their articles. I find it encouraging, enlightening, and motivating to see the work and insights that others have. We are not alone on our life journey, we are all in it together, all striving for the same safety, love, and well-being in our heart, body and mind. Here are quotes from three brilliant thinkers, followed by my one second take away.
Bruce Lipton from his blog, What Do You Want To Learn About The Subconscious Mind?
“Cognitive neuroscientists reveal that the profoundly more powerful subconscious mind is responsible for 95-99% of our cognitive activity and therefore controls almost all of our decisions, actions, emotions and behaviors.
The most powerful and influential behavioral programs in the subconscious mind were acquired during the formative period between gestation and six years of age. Now here’s the catch—these life-shaping subconscious programs are direct downloads derived from observing our primary teachers: our parents, siblings, and local community. Unfortunately, as psychologists are keenly aware, many of the perceptions acquired about ourselves in this formative period are expressed as limiting and self-sabotaging beliefs. “
My One Second Take-Away: So many foundational issues we struggle with are from the baggage we picked up in our childhood, and that we are being controlled by subconscious beliefs from the past. Yet as adults we can change those beliefs because we are not that child in that situation anymore.
And Dr. Joe Dispenza from his blog Taking Time Out From Technology To Change:
“Current neuro-scientific theory tells us that the brain is organized to reflect everything we know in our environment. The different relationships with people we have met, the variety of things we own and are familiar with, the cumulative places we have visited and have lived at different times in our lives, and the myriad of experiences we have embraced throughout our years are all configured in the soft plastic tissues of the brain. Even the vast array of actions and behaviors that we’ve repeatedly performed throughout our lifetime is also tattooed in the intricate folds of our gray matter. For the most part, our brain is equal to our environment.
Therefore, in our waking day, as we interact with all of the diverse stimuli in our external world, it is the environment that activates different circuits in the brain and, as a result, we begin to think (and react) equal to the environment. As this process occurs, our brains will then fire familiar circuits that reflect past known experiences already wired in our brain. When we associate with the external world we think in familiar automatic hardwired ways. If we believe the notion that our thoughts or our actions have anything to do with our future, how can we ever be in control of our destiny?
In other words, in a normal day, as we consciously or unconsciously respond to familiar people, as we recognize the host of common things in different known places at certain predictable times, and when we experience the same conditions in our personal world, we will, more than likely, think and behave in automatic memorized ways. To change then is to think and act greater than our present circumstances. It is to think greater than our environment.”
My One Second Take Away: Functioning on autopilot without discernment limits growth- it’s time to think outside the box! Change your mind, change your beliefs, change your behavior, change your life.
And Dr. Candace Pert from her Mind Really Does Matter! interview with Mitch Rustad:
“We’re not static beings, we’re always making new cells, even as we’re just sitting here. At any time, no matter how much old training and programming you may have, you always have the potential to literally change your mind.
Each cell in our body is constantly vibrating, often in several different shapes, and our receptors vibrate as well. It’s a dance that’s constantly taking place in our bodies, and every cell is talking to every other cell in a rhythmic, ongoing way. In fact, the frequencies of your cells are even in sync with the audible sounds around you, which is why music and words can be very healing. Every cell is a mirror. One great way of feeling good is to eliminate the excess static in your life, and the antidote for negativity in our lives is positive affirmations. Research has shown that neurons are strengthened by repeated phrases and empowering words.”
My One Second Take Away: The billions of cells in our body are intelligent and respond to our thoughts and feelings. Include them on the healing journey as the allies they are!
Want to see start taking action on your goals for Self-Improvement? Take control over your rich, creative, and responsive mind and use it to your benefit. Your unconscious mind is a vault of data and makes most of your decisions. It stores your beliefs, emotions and memory from your entire life and runs programs that determine your habits and actions. Your thinking mind processes and engages with what is being experienced, seen, felt, and done, but as soon as the conscious mind becomes distracted (which is always these days) the subconscious mind becomes activated and starts to run the show. That is why it is so influential over your life. So here are some ways you can take control of the mind and develop self-improvement in your life.
- Reprogram your mind. By giving your subconscious mind powerful descriptive words, images, and stories of what you want are called “suggestions”, and they are very influential to your mind. The mind responds to the pictures you make and the words you use, regardless if it is true, false, good, bad, healthy or unhealthy. It wants what is familiar, so at first it will feel very difficult to believe in your own suggestions. Stick with it. You will be surprised how quickly it can become familiar. The most effective receptive state happens during a hypnotic state when your alpha brain waves are active. While in the alpha state, give your mind the suggestions you want for your new familiar, your new way, your new improved version. You can do self-hypnosis (it is not hard), which you can learn easily and do anytime you have a few minutes. Alternatively, you can have a hypnotherapy session with a trained hypnotist. Additionally, you can record your suggestions and listen to them when you are relaxing, meditating, or getting ready to go to sleep.
- Use your imagination and visualization. This is a key way to bring about self-improvement and change into your life. Your mind does not know the difference between what is real and not real. It will believe what you tell it, and it wants to keep you safe. That is its job. Using visualization to program your mind to be your highest and best self is an effective tool. Your imagination is very powerful. Use it to your benefit. Quick visualizations a couple times a day is a great start. What works best for you? Writing them down and seeing them and reading them every day? Recording them and listening to them? Having someone else record your own words? Listening to music while you sing them out loud?
- You must do all these things over and over again to bring a shift into the present time. Listen to your recording once or twice a day. Say and let in the words and images describing your ideal life in vivid and crisp detail. You will get better at this every time you do it, and every time you listen to yourself. Spend time creating the suggestions you will give yourself and repeat them every day. All of this will help bring new beliefs, new thoughts, new realities, and new actions into play. At first it will feel uncomfortable. Through repetition of actions and words and images you are reprogramming and rewiring your mind, until one day it is just the way it is and you love it!
- Get plenty of rest. Sleep deprivation is a leading cause of much illness, and so many people are sleep deprived. Our culture does not respect the importance of deep rest. During sleep, our brain processes all the information from the day, and recharges itself. During deep rest the body heals. Memory improves, metabolism is regulated, cognition is sharpened, fatigue resides, and the subconscious mind can take in new learning and let go of old patterns that are no longer useful.
- Do this for 30 days. It takes time and effort to change. It is a process, and you can do it. It will fill you with positive power. Old habits die, but not without your effort. The beauty of this approach is that you are taking agency. The agency you have as your birthright, just waiting for you to take hold and use it. Taking agency helps you, and it helps those around you. Heal yourself and you heal the world. As you begin to notice this new and better part of you becoming familiar and settled in your life you will have new vistas to strive for and you will continually grow into the full potential of you.
I believe in the power of agency in health, healing, and wellness and I promote it in all the modalities I practice. This is a great quote I want to share from an article on agency by the Pattison Professional Counseling and Mediation Center:
“Agency is your very own power, your ability, to affect the future.
Many people, however, believe they have very little agency in their life. They take the attitude that life has handed them their own certain circumstances, things are what they are, and they are stuck forever.
Noted Stanford University professor of psychology Albert Bandura, a leader on agency and self-efficacy research, stated in his talk “The Psychology of Human Agency” that people act as agents who intentionally regulate their behavior and life circumstances. They are self-organizing, proactive, self-regulating, and self-reflecting. “They are producers of their life circumstances and not just the products of them.”
He goes on to say that while people have the ability to influence themselves, they are also very capable in influencing others to affect change. Today’s society is undergoing drastic social, informational, and technological changes, and these “revolutionary advances in technology and globalization are transforming the nature, reach, speed, and the loci of human influence. These new realities present vastly greater opportunities for people to exercise control over how they live their lives,”
Bandura’s research leads us to this truth: we have far more power than we think. Just take a moment to reflect on how much you do every day to keep your life on track. There is a tremendous amount of power there. Being aware of it and then using it is the way to affect radical change in your life.”
According to Professor Albert Bandura, the four helpers that go along with agency are Intentionality, Forethought, Self-Reactiveness, Self-Reflection. this is so true, and these are helpers we all need to cultivate, and pass on to each other.
In closing, one of the hardest things you might find in all of this Self Improvement stuff, is deciding what you want to improve! So I’ve decided to give you some examples and suggestions, things you can take and make them your own.
Get regular exercise that is right for you and your body; develop agency; build confidence; hone a new skill; get enough rest and have a healthy sleep routine; improve or build your social life; find a perfect relationship; create more balance in your life; overcome a fear that stops you from doing what you want; eat healthy; connect with loved ones.
My Self Improvement this month is to have a regular healthy routine for my body that includes just the right kind of exercise for my needs, making concrete changes to reduce my stress levels, and improving my sleep hygiene. All of this will help me be strong, comfortable, alert, and have a healthy immune system, and a calm heart.
I wish you the best in your September Self Improvement journey. You can do it!